Returning to Normalcy

My mom has never called me a diabetic. I have always been a girl with T1D. She always said that I shouldn't let the disease define who I am. Well, instead of listening, I created an AIM screenname: cRaZyDiaBeTiC90. Yes, that was my SN. My mom still, to this day, won't laugh at it, but come on now, you know you chuckled when you read it. I embraced the disease, because why not stand strong in the belief that I am a diabetic? There's just too many diabetic jokes not to! ;)


As the salesman was just about to close the shop two very excited diabetics (George and Scott) came running in the door!

“Wow, is that sign for real?” asks Scott.

“Which sign?” Asks the salesman.

“Hello? The one on the front of your window!” replies George.

“Well of course” said the salesman.

“WE’LL TAKE TWO PLEASE! One for each of us!!!” they shout in unison.

“What do you want?” inquired the salesman.

“A Functioning Pancreas!” exclaims Scott.

“But this is a music store!!!” Says the salesman.

A look of confusion falls upon everyone’s face.

George sheepishly replies, “But the sign says ‘Organ’s for sale.’”


I am the only diabetic in my nursing school class. If I stood in a line with the rest of my classmates, could you have picked out that I was the loner with T1D? I highly doubt it. I look normal. I'm just a simple, brown-haired, blue-eyed, freckled-faced, 23-year old. The only visible differences are my scarred fingertips and slight lipoatrophy in my arms and legs from not enough injection rotating. I laugh at the same jokes, study the same material, and snack on the same snacks as the rest of my friends. Luckily, in nursing school, most of my friends eat quite healthy! I'd have to say I look pretty average on the outside.

"You look so normal," a mother of newly diagnosed T1D sighed as she greeted me at the door. Instead of asking questions about insulin and diets, she asked me if boys still took me on dates or if my diabetes scared them away. I had never thought about it--did people look at me differently? I'd have to say, in my almost 22 years of experience, I have never been looked down upon because of my disease.

In elementary school, my friends would eagerly await for me to use a new needle to prick my finger so that they could add another colored cap to their collection. They'd watch patiently as I gave myself shots and ask if they could prick my finger. Their fascination was undeniably contagious and before long, the entire class wanted in on the action. Fast forward to today and my friends are STILL intrigued by my injections! Now, instead of watching, all my nursing friends want to practice on me!

I do not believe diabetes defines me. Do I believe that the big guy upstairs knew I could handle it? YES. Are there days when I want to give up? OH YES. It's hard, even if it seems quite simple to just follow along with the insulin regimen and check your blood sugar. There are no easy days; each day is critical in the progression of the disease. I'm just thankful the Lord put the right people in my life for me to make it through.

I'm marrying my other half this summer, and I couldn't be happier! Pug knows me better than anyone else. When my blood sugar's low, somehow a granola bar magically appears in my hands! He is the most involved when it comes to taking care of my diabetes, and I know, for a fact, that my father is handing his daughter into the right hands. I get random texts during the night asking what my blood sugar is, because he wakes up with an odd feeling that something may be wrong. He's just like my dad, who still wakes up in the middle of the night to check my sugar. Sorry, Pug, I had to brag on you for a second :) I am one lucky girl.


Warren G. Harding's campaign slogan, "A return to normalcy," was his promise to the United States that the country would return to its pre-world war mindset, without the negative thoughts of war tainting their attitudes. For the past 22 years, my family and I have been trying to "return to normalcy." I do not think we'll ever reach it while battling this disease. I do know that I  have all my friends and family to thank for keeping me going. You will never know how much I appreciate your kindness and support!

Disavowing Diabetes

I know every trick in the book when it comes to living with T1D...but no matter how you try and cheat the system, the disease is never going to go away.

As a child, the glucometers (AKA "sugar checkers") were no where near as advanced as they are today. They used to require large amounts of blood to check how much sugar was racing through your blood stream. To tear through the callouses that were hardened on my fingers, I might've had to prick my fingers two or three times before I could get enough blood on the glucometer strip. How tedious! What child wants to do that 5-8 times a day? Well, I quickly found out that if I didn't use enough blood on the strip, my blood sugar reading would be lower than the true reading. Wow! How great is that? I never had to take insulin, and I could get out of class and gymnastics to eat snacks whenever I wanted! My average blood sugar on my glucometer would be perfect. I obviously enjoyed immediate gratification and didn't take into account the long-term consequences. But why worry about it? I was getting to eat cookies and granola bars all day long. One of a diabetic's typical reactions--denial.

The funny thing about cheating the system is that you'll always get caught at some point. That awful Hemoglobin A1C got me every time! Drats. An average blood sugar over the past three months. BUSTED. That average blood sugar of 121 mg/dL on my glucometer was obviously a little distorted. I just expected to get grounded after that doctor's appointment every time we went. Like I said in my last blog, I'm not perfect! Clearly, my life with diabetes as a child was a challenge--more for my parents than for me. Lying and cheating for immediate gratification. I was living a life of denial.

So, how do you teach your child that she can't forget to take her insulin? I'm not sure "forget" is the correct word to use considering most kids know they need to take it, they just choose not to. I don't know if my parents were ever able to truly drill it into my head that poor care of my diabetes would lead to drastic consequences. They grounded me numerous times and explained the possibility of blindness, deafness, amputation, etc. that could occur if I didn't take better care of myself. It didn't phase me. Maybe for a week or so I might've taken more insulin or checked my blood sugar more, but the hype quickly faded. I knew the complications of the disease, but I just couldn't see that far into the future. It wasn't happening right then, so I carried on with my unhealthy ways. 

The fights I had with my parents about diabetes was always a common theme. As I grew older, I took better care of myself than as a early/middle-age teenager. But still, my Hemoglobin A1C is not perfect, and I'm constantly fighting the battle of denial. I always get the typical "Can you eat that?" or "Should you be eating that?" questions from friends and family, as if they know my diabetes better than I do. I think I've got you beat with 21 years under my belt...sorry. I know they are usually looking out for me, but the thing is, I'm the only one who has control over the disease. I'm the only one who can decide how I want to take care of my diabetes. My parents can ground me and my friends can question me, but in the end, it's up to me. What does it take for a diabetic to truly want to take care of herself?

Last spring, in my OB rotation in nursing school, I ran into Dr. Wendell, a high-risk obstetric physician and good friend of my family. After ringing my neck with a massive hug, he grabbed my shoulders and asked, "Now how well is your diabetes under control?" I told him it was good but still needed some work. He looked me in the eyes and smiled, "We are going to get your diabetes under perfect control, and you are going to have the most beautiful baby ever when you're ready." I cried that day. My diabetes can effect another life? My mistakes could cause consequences for my child? It is no longer a disease affecting just me, myself, and I. It will affect someone else in the future. It finally clicked. The realization that I needed my blood sugars to be in perfect control. No one scolded me into believing it.  It was all up to me.

I'm sharing my story of when strict care of my diabetes truly became my primary goal. I am not trying discourage parents to stop educating their children. I believe my parents are the only reason why I didn't completely give up on taking care of myself. Their strength and belief in me are unwaivering. Their knowledge and openness to learn the disease are qualities I incredibly admire. But it all comes down to the "click." Find it and fight the battle ahead with ambition and burning desire.

"For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." -Hebrews 12:11

It's Tough Being a Woman with Type 1 Diabetes

I was diagnosed with Type 1 Juvenile Diabetes on August 22, 1991, approximately 18 months after I was born.

It has been 21 years, 2 months and 3 days; 7, 736 days; roughly 185, 640 hours, 668, 304, 000 seconds and counting that I've lived with this incurable disease.

I decided to start blogging about my life with diabetes for many reasons--some for myself and some for others. I felt the need to share my story--though it may not be as interesting in paper as it is in real life.  Heads up though, I'm no angel when it comes to T1D...I've made many mistakes that will be apparent in my writing.  But fortunately, I've learned from these errors and hope that you can as well.  As for you, the reader, you might be reading this for knowledge about the disease itself, relief that someone else with the disease is living a fairly normal life, or clarification that life with diabetes is not a cake walk and others are suffering, too. Whatever the reason, I hope you can laugh, cry, and learn from the "highs and lows" of my life with diabetes.

Just so you know, I am not a writer.  I'm actually severely enthralled with science and the study of medicine.  I graduate nursing school in May and cannot wait to begin working and hopefully furthering my education.  So if I have typos or mishaps in my wording or sentence structure, please forgive me.

Last year I did my Pediatric rotation in nursing school and asked to be placed on the adolescent unit for a couple of clinical days.  I wanted to see a child's first moments of finding out he/she had diabetes. Did I want closure? I guess you could say that. But instead of only feeling the pain of the child's tears as he received his first injection, I looked to the parents. Confusion, frustration, depression--these emotions smeared across each of their faces.  And it made me wonder...what were my parents thinking when they received the call?  The call that their child, their 18-month-old child, was diagnosed with a disease that they did not know the cure for.  Not to add that my parents were on a trip, and I was staying with my cousins. Most likely it was the first time they'd taken a trip alone since I was born. Little did they know, they were going to be greeted back home with a crash course on diabetic education. I wonder what their facial expressions would have looked like...



So, as Beth Moore would say in my Esther bible study, "it's tough being a woman..." This time, I'm going to add, "...with Type 1 Diabetes."

But then again, after today's post, I might say, "it's tough being a woman (/man) with a child with Type 1 Diabetes."






"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." -Deuteronomy 31:6